I Can Never Win

My mind races,
memories flooding back,
I start to overthink.

I feel deaf.
Only hearing the sound of a pin dropping.
Not another human around.

Emotions take over
my mind,

my heart.
It aches.

Eyes full with tears,
they threaten to fall.

I am living in reality,
can’t escape.

On the contrary,
he’s home,
she’s home

I can’t stand it.

All the fighting.

The negativity is unbearable.
Making me physically ill.

It’s intolerable.
I want to cry.
I want to help.
I want to fix it.

But I don’t want to play the middleman again.
I won’t.
I can never win.