Rant: Unpleasant Undercuts

As I wonder through the halls of our school, I can’t help but notice how a lot of girls are leaving their friends hanging on Facebook and meeting a new friend, a razor. But not one for their legs, for their heads. When random girls just shave that awkward patch into the side of their head, they don’t look “edgy” or “hot,” they look like they got a hold of a pair of trimmers for their more sensitive hairs and slipped as they were turning it on.

To be honest, it doesn’t make you look elegant or clever. This ridiculously hideous hairstyle makes girls look trashy. People will and ARE walking around making fun of you. Do you want them to blather behind your back? Prepare yourself for a weird look and people whispering just right after you passed by them. Heck, you’ll have that “drug addict” aura to some. Keep that hair-do and you’ll be continually looked down upon. According to HOB salons, home to British Hairdresser of the Year Akin Konizi, as many as a quarter of its clients are requesting some form of “undercut.” WHY? Ladies, you should want yourselves to look dapper and well-dressed, not like you took a lawn mower to the side of your face.

Of course, it all started with Rihanna. Or at least that’s when I first paid attention to this hair “trend.” But can we finally, as a society, accept the fact that just because something looks so good on Rihanna does NOT mean that it will look good on every random girl? Rihanna could essentially smear herself with Elmer’s glue and roll around in Froot Loops and 20-something white chicks would say, “that is so cute, I knew crushed cereal in your bodily creases was going to make a new style. I told you, Stacey.” Michelle Williams and Coco Rocha also have this same bizarre hairstyle. Some other favorites, past and present, include Cassie, P!nk, and Ellie Goulding. You may think you look “cool” or “sexy” with this hair-do, but these celebrities, they can rock the look. You random girls on the other hand, cannot.

Also, I can only imagine a truckload of extensions for a few years would do if girls deciding to grow their hair out. Or some futile “grow your hair back free trial” from some no-name website that doesn’t even work. But think about it, how dumb are you going to look with long hair and a weird short piece right in the front?

Furthermore, speaking anecdotally, I went into my bank the other day and the long-haired receptionist was trying to “regrow” a sizeable chunk of hair on the side of her head and looked at me like nothing had happened. I wondered immediately a) if she had a boss of any kind and b) if she knows that this hairstyle will soon be looked back upon with the same disdain as white girl cornrows.

In reality, we all know that dumb decisions end with abnormal consequences, and not all people are perfect. But ladies, do us all a favor, and keep your hair under the hair dryer, and away from the razor.