It’s 1970; my brother Evzan and I are playing on the playground at the orphanage. Evzan is my fraternal twin. We’ve been inseparable since birth. We have also been at the orphanage since birth. Actually our mother was an orphan herself. She got impregnated with Evzan and me when she was just 16. Ms. Hope her best friend and now owner of the orphanage told us that mother had never spoken of who our father was. I wonder a lot and would like to ask Ms. Hope more about my mother but I know it brings her much pain. Ms. Hope loved my mother and my mother loved Ms. Hope. They were just like Evzan and me. They were inseparable until death do them part. Which on June 7, 1959, death separated the inseparable. Death took my mother into his hands as she gave birth to Evzan and me. Ms. Hope doesn’t know what caused my mother’s death but she told us that my mom’ s face lit up with joy the moment she laid eyes on us. Sadly moments after mother brought new life into the world, her life began to fade.

“Gisele. Gisele hurry fast,” Ms. Hope shrieked. I was pulled from my thoughts as Ms. Hope tugged on my tethered red tee. I dropped the green bucket heaped with sand back into the sand box and quickly brushed the residue from my body.

“What is it Ms. Hope?” I asked in confusion. I know as well as anyone that Ms. Hope is never this anxious unless it is something important.

“Someone is here to see you. Go on tidy up and come to my office with a smile on.” She said quietly into my ear.

My thoughts were racing through my mind of who it could be. For a second I thought just maybe it could be my birth father but he would want to see Evzan and me, not just me. So I scurry to the room that I share with ten other children. It’s a mess as usual. I wander between the five sets of bunk beds until I reach mine and Evzan’s. At the bottom of the bunk there sits an old white chest. I skim my fingers lightly across the paint chipped oak. It was my mothers. I open the chest which is full of my belongings. I rummage through it trying to find the perfect apparel. I find my dark blue velvet dress at the very bottom. I slip it on quick. It fits perfectly along with my white ruffled socks and my dark brown leather shoes Ms. Hope had managed to make for me. My hair isn’t perfect but I don’t have much time so it will do.

I run down the old creaky steps to Ms. Hope’s office as fast as I can. I peek in to see who my visitor is. It’s a man I’ve never seen before. I walk into the room to introduce myself. The man stands. He towers over me with his dark grey suit and slicked back hair. He smiles the whitest smile and speaks with the most profound voice I have ever heard. He removes his dark sun glasses and reveals his to die for baby blue eyes. I almost faint at his perfection. He kneels down to shake my hand and introduces himself. What a gentle man.

“Hello Gisele, I am Abbah.” His hand reaches for mine. It’s warm and makes my body feel as if I’m being gently prodded by a million of needles.

I shake his hand and say, “Hello Abbah.” I feel stupid that I didn’t acquaint myself in a better manner but my mind mesmerized by addictive nature. We both take a seat and Ms. Hope begins to explain the situation.

“Well Gisele you’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time but unfortunately it’s not going to turn out exactly how you want it to. Abbah here wants to adopt you. He is a loving man, who has a wonderful home with much room for a child. Now I know you will be heartbroken without Evzan but Abbah has promised that you will be allowed to see Evzan again in time.”

My heart stops contracting, I feel dead. Ms. Hope out of anyone should understand why I don’t want to be separated from my brother. He is all I have left. I stare coldly into the eyes of Ms. Hope as I stop breathing. My face crumples together creating gaps as massive as the Amazon River and tears begin to flood into the creases. I’ve never held so much hate for one person in my life. Out of all people, I can’t believe Ms. Hope would be the one to hurt me.

“I’m very sorry Gisele. Can you go pack your belongings and say your goodbyes?” Ms. Hope asked in an innocent voice. How can the devil look so much like an angel? How can a fire breathing beast speak with such a loving tone? How can the only mother figure I’ve ever had abandon me without a fuss? I picture my hands tightly grasping her throat as she chokes for help. A grin schemes onto my face at the thought of killing her.

“I wouldn’t be so calm when sleeping at night Ms. Hope,” I whisper gently into her ear, “Boo.” Her eyes open in terror as if she just saw a ghost.

I slowly walk out of her rundown office that has the scent of cat urine. I act as if I have not a care in the world until I am out of sight. Then suddenly, I run to my bed room and drop to my knees. I can’t

go on without Evzan, he is the only family I have left. He has been by my side the last eleven years of our lives. I can’t even fathom living a day without out him. Let alone a life time. I throw my few ragged belongings I have into a paper bag from the local grocery store. I pick up a picture of Evzan and me that I managed to have the fancy photographer down the road take. It took me 5 years to save enough money for just one photo but it was worth it. I held the picture close to my heart where forever Evzan would stay. I closed my eyes and replayed every blissful memory I’ve had with Evzan.

Someone taps me one my shoulder and brings me back to reality. “Gisele, you need to go say your goodbyes now.” I turn around to see the devil itself, Ms. Hope.

“I wouldn’t be so quick to touch me again. You might get yourself hurt,” I began to smirk as I saw fear begin to overthrow her eyes.

I push past her and knock her off her feet. Haha what a weak bitch. I drift my feet across the dirt covered floor while I pace back and forth across the hallway. I dig into my pocket to take one last glimpse of the picture of me and Evzan before I leave. It’s not there. I sprint back to the room and kick the door open. I stand in the door way witnessing Ms. Hope kneeled beside the white chest gazing at the picture of me and Evzan. She held in it her hands as if she even gave a damn about us. Who the hell was she trying to fool with this pathetic act of pity? I felt no remorse for the guilt she felt. I walk behind her to snatch the picture back but before I know it my hands are grasped around her throat. I rip her back onto the floor and quickly jump to straddle her midsection. Her legs flail in the air as she fights for dear life. The more she moves the tighter my hands clutch around her feeble neck. Her hands struggle as she tries to weaken my grip. Pain shoots through my body and her claws rip into the flesh of my neck. I can only imagine what it feels like to die. I look down at her face to see her eyes frantically moving from side to side. I can tell she is panicking. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out except the

sound of sloshing as she attempts to take a breath. Her struggles lessen and I watch as the life slowly fades from her dark green eyes. I watch as she lives the last second of her life before her eyes emerge toward the back of her head. A moment I will never forget. I let go of her neck and look down to see a tear fall from her eye. It runs slowly down her cheek before kissing the floor. How dare her make me feel guilty. I put the palm of my hand on her forehead and begin to smash her head off of the hard wood floor. I pick her head up and smash it down over and over again. Blood seeps into the floor boards and spits all over me as her head meets with the wood. I look at what I have done but feel no pain. She deserved it.

I drag her body to the bathroom and push her into the tub. I cover her with a few towels before shutting the curtain. Hopefully I will be gone before anyone finds her body. I look into the mirror to see myself covered with red splotches head to toe. I grab a wet cloth and begin to clean myself up. I strip naked and throw my clothes onto the floor. I dig into the paper bag full of my belongings and grab out a different outfit. I change quickly and shove my blood covered clothes into the bag. I get my stuff together and hurry to the room to retrieve the picture of me and Evzan. I pick it up to see it is covered in blood as well. I try to wipe it off as best as I can before I make my way down the steps and out onto the playground.

I scamper frantically onto the playground to find Evzan. Ms. Grace the orphanage’s helper is helping the younger children swing. I try not to make eye contact with her. I scam for Evzan and find him still proceeding to play in the sandbox. His black hair is sharply slick backed as his dark brown eyes focus on the castle he is building. His hands stay steady as he pushes sticks into the tops of the castle towers.

“Wahh la!” He says as he points to his master piece. His smile is brighter than anyone’s in this world, I will miss that.

“Oooo ahhh!” I exaggerated my words as I plopped down beside his sand castle. I slowly skimmed my fingers across the firm packs of sand as I watched Evzan begin to sculpt another castle. I don’t have much time to say goodbye but I keeping hoping time will pause.

“Evzan, can ya put that down for a minute? We needa talk,” I asked in a peculiar tone as I removed the bucket from his hands.

“Sure thing. Is everything okay sis?” His hands intertwined and he gazed at me waiting for an answer.

“Evzan, I’ve gotten adopted. I only have a few minutes to say my last goodbyes,” I choked on the words as they suffocated me.

“You can’t go, not now!” Evzan screamed in rage as he dropped to his knees. I could see his life was fading from his deep blue eyes. I saw the same pain in Ms. Hope’s eye. My heart broke.

“Evzan, you don’t understand. I don’t have a choice.” Tears began to seep from my eyes.

“But you’re my sister. They can’t take you from me!” I could hear confusion in his voice as he gasped for air to speak.

“I don’t have much time. Hurry! quick! Give me one last hug!” I embraced my arms around his frail and feeble body. I don’t want to let go. I feel as his body heat exerts off of him and grasps me. This is a feeling I may never feel again, the love of my brother. I release his body and stand up to brush the sand off my clothes.

“Abbah the man who is adopting me said I will be able to see you in time. Until then stay strong and never forget how much I love you.” My hands surround his face as I pull his forehead towards my

lips. I kiss his forehead softly and give a toss to his hair. Deep down I am dying but I hold it together for his sake. I look at him waiting for him to speak but he gives no response. He stays slouched in the sand as his head hangs toward the ground. My lips tiptoe to his ear, “I love you,” I whisper gently.

I grab my bag full of blood drenched clothes and make my way out of the orphanage where Abbah would be waiting. He stands leaned against his black dolled up Camero.

“She’s a beaut isn’t she? Just like you,” he smiles gently as he opens the door for me to get in.

I collapsed into the seat and throw my head back. The clock says its three fifteen. I gawk aggressively at the ceiling of the car where I play Ms. Hopes death over and over again. Every noise. Every face. Every drop of blood. It replays over and over again in my head, haunting my soul. I wonder if she has been found yet and I pray Evzan was not the one who found her.

Abbah hops into the driver’s seat and proceeds to put the car in first gear, he revs the engine quietly with a grin on his face. “Here we go!” he exclaims as we begin to pull away.

I look back at the orphanage, the only place I’ve ever called home. It wasn’t much but it sure as hell was enough to make me happy. It was an ugly old thing but it sure had a lot of character, from the drawings on the wall to the funky smells that lingered. Every mark on that house told a story. Not only was it part of the house’s book but it told someone else’s story as well. I left stories everywhere in that house, from engraving my name into the steps, to staining the floors with Ms. Hope’s blood.

The orphanage was slowly fading away as Abbah drove on until there was not even a speck in sight. I turn straight in my chair and twiddled my thumbs patiently waiting to see my new home.

An hour passes and we turn onto a long dirt road. We drive it about fifteen minutes before approaching a mansion. My eyes gouge out at the sight of it. “Where are we?” I prayed he answered with “home”.

“This here is home,” he said as he began to get out of the car.

I look up to see a massive stone house skyscraping over me. Ivory smothered the building from head to toe. I approached the dark oak wood door as cement lions stay focused on my every move. I open the door and run in to make myself at home. I look around and notice it’s empty. No furniture. No appliances. No pictures. No nothing. I turn around to see Abbah standing directly behind me.

“I hope you’re not too disappointed but this is not exactly where you will be living,” he walks in front of me as a sign to follow.

I follow him down the steps into the cold damp basement or in my eyes a murder scene. I trample through inches of mud as water runs down the stone cold walls. Abbah grabs a stone and gives it a turn, a wall transparencies out of sight revealing a passageway. It’s even muddier than the basement floor. I struggle through the knee high mud as best as I can. Goose bumps rise on my body and my hair stands as cold air whispers by me. I can hear as water swims down the walls and descends into the muck. Abbah troops behind me with bliss on his face. I’m fearful of where we are going. Will he keep me in this dungeon forever or is this a tunnel to a magical land? I try to think optimistically but my throat clumps at the thought of murder. The thoughts hard to swallow but I try not to panic.

We come to a ladder in the middle of the tunnel. It’s rusted and dressed in mud. I look up but cannot see where it leads. Abbah pats my shoulder as a sign to climb. I grab onto the ladder. It’s slick. I cautiously climb the ladder with ease. I talk to myself quietly,” Foot. Arm. Foot. Arm,” trying to stay

concentrated. I feel as if I am going to suffocate as the walls around the ladder seem to wither. Before long my head hits off of something solid. I look up to see a metal circle that resembles a sewage pipe. I attempt to push it open but I am too weak. Abbah climbs behind me and grasps the bar in front of my waist. He slowly reaches above us to push the pipe. He throws it into the air with one hand as if he were hulk. I peek my head out of the pipe. My eyes scan over hundreds of filthy children. I hear but not a sound from any of their mouths. Their faces were motionless. I felt warmth of Abbah’s hand as he gently rubbed my shoulder. Mud hugged my shoes and spits on my blue velvet dress with every step.

“Where are we?” I looked around to see nothing but an infestation of woods.

“This here is my realm of misfits,” he opened his hands to showcase his prodigies.

“What do you mean misfits? What is this even for?” children look as if they haven’t showered in weeks and even if they did the mud prevented them from staying clean for long.

“Yes Gisele, misfits. I gather broken children from around the world and give them a purpose in life. Here everyone is accepted and someday when the world ends, we will be the ones who survive,” he walked with his hands behind his back as he greeted child after child with the wink of an eye.

“You’re crazy, I don’t want to be a part of your psychotic fantasies,” I laughed at his vivid imagination.

Abbah grabbed both of my arms and began to shake me furiously. “You know nothing! I’m an adult and you’re a child with no parents. You’re useless to anyone else in this world but me. Respect me, for I have given you a reason to live. Without me you would be nothing. NOTHING you hear me?”

I plunge into the mud as he throws me down. It’s thick against my skin and holds me tight to the ground. I brawl through the dense syrup to get onto my feet again. I say nothing back to Abbah, I keep my head hung low and stay silent.

Abbah shows me to the cabin I will be staying in. It’s a small ranch style cabin and surprisingly grass covers the ground around it. I walk up the steps onto the porch where there are a few wooden rocking chairs. Abbah opens the dark oak door to a room full of bunk beds. It reminds me of the orphanage. Towards the back of the cabin is bathrooms with three toilets and showers but none have curtains or stalls.

Abbah taps my shoulder, “I hope you know better than to pull the nonsense that you did earlier. There are certain things you cannot do and say in order to survive this camp. Do all your duties and challenges correctly and you will be confirmed as a misfit. It takes time to complete these tasks but I see potential in you. Just a warning though, if you fail to please me, I won’t fail to kill you,” he walked gracefully out of the cabin and disappeared into the pines.

It’s now 1980 and I am twenty years old. The last ten years have been hell. My mind has been corrupted and my body has been devoured. I’ve turned into a mad man. Since the day I got here I’ve been a cold blooded killer. It all started with Ms. Hope, a murder I never intended to perform. Then came my misfit challenges and I’m not talking about my chores around the cabin. I will never forget my first challenge.

It was one week after my arrival and Abbah summoned me to his office. He told me that I would soon encounter my first challenge and to not let him down. I waited four days before one of the guards showed me the way to the first challenge. I walked into what looked like a rundown barn but inside

stood bleachers and a boxing ring. Crowds of other misfits stood gathered around the ring. As I approached the ring I noticed it was drowned into blood. The guard pointed me to the ring and I skittishly climbed my way onto it. In the ring stood a dog cage with a man crouched within it. Misfits from around the camp cheered as I approached the cage.

As I stood in the middle of the ring speakers blared with the voice of Abbah. “Hello my children, today we are welcoming Gisele with her first challenge! Her task will be to kill the man in the cage. They will each receive a small pocket knife to defend themselves. If Gisele wins she will move onto her next challenge and be awarded with the beauty of her life. If the man wins he will be used for another challenge until he is then killed. The man standing with us today is a convicted rapist who is now on patrol. The world is a dark place and my misfits will not have to face it without experience! Good luck Gisele and may the battle commence!

A guard walks towards me and hands me a petite knife. I hold it firmly in the palm of my hands and smother it with my fingers. The guard releases the man and hands him the same knife. The guard then throws up his arms as a sign to begin. We circle round and round the ring, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. My knees are slightly bent as I gallop sideways. My eye’s stay focused on his every move, being cautious as to what he has in store for me. He leaps forward with great force and nicks my forearm. The cuts deep but the blood flow is relaxed, he must have missed arteries. Blood tickles my hands as it knifes down my arms. I look at what he has done and I grow infuriated. I watch his every step focusing on his feet. They went together and then apart. I vault quickly to the ground between his legs and slice his Achilles tendons. He falls to ground as blood spurts from his ankles. I swiftly rise to my feet and grab his knife from his thick fingers. I can hear as the cr owd roars in exhilaration. I can tell they want more. I grasp a clump of hair from the back of the man’s head into my fists. I lift his head gracefully and

touch the blade to his throat. I look up at the crowd to see misfits out of their seats jumping. I look back down and begin to cut deep into his neck. Blood runs out of his mouth as his throat croaks. I wait to hear one last struggle for air before laying his head back onto the ground. I hoist my body back up onto its feet and wipe the blood from my skin onto my white shirt. I look up into the crowd and take a bow with pleasure. Misfits begin to run from the bleachers and surround the ring. I feel invincible. If it were to be a month ago, I would have never been able to kill anyone but it’s nothing now. I don’t feel regret or pain, and it concerns me. I walk off the stage and into the sea of misfits. I try to push my way through them as best as I can but most of them don’t budge. Hours go by and they are still celebrating my win. Young misfits make their way to me with a paper and pencil for an autograph. I scribble my name over and over for what seems like a lifetime b efore finally being able to retreat back to my cabin.

Today is my last challenge and if I complete this I will be confirmed as a misfit. I still have no idea what to expect. I’ve completed hundreds of challenges and all of them had a shocking twist to them. I do chores around the cabin and wait patiently for a guard to come get me. When I have alone time in the cabin I always take a few minutes to talk to god. It’s been ten years since I’ve seen my brother. I take a moment to pray that I live to see Evzan one more time. I grasp the picture of us in my hand and lightly skim my fingers across Evzan’s face. I miss him. I’ve waited and waited for Allah to surprise me with him but he never has. I don’t understand how he could take me away from my brother. He told Ms. Hope that I would see Evzan in time and so far I haven’t seen him once. After every challenge I run to Abbah thinking that just maybe Evzan would be my reward for winning. It’s been so long and I am beginning to forget what he looks like without the pictu re. By now I bet he has grown two feet and has some meat on his bones.

A guard knocks onto the door and interrupts my prayer time. He nods his head at the door and motions me to follow him. I take the picture of me and Evzan for a good luck charm and stuff it into my sock. The Guard leads me to the arena where my first and many challenges took place. As I make my way into the arena I notice there are thousands of misfits. I am confused as I see that every seat is taken. Where did all of these children come from? I see faces that I have never seen before. I hear a mixture boos and hurrahs as I make my way to the ring. I step up onto the middle of the platform to realize that I am the only one standing there.

Abbah comes over the speakers, “Welcome all my precious misfits. Today we will be confirming two of our misfits. As you have noticed we are welcomed today with many new faces. These are the faces of what I would call your long lost brother and sisters. They have traveled many miles from another misfit camp to be here today. Can I get a round of applause? Now we know they didn’t come here for nothing, so let me explain. One of their members is to be confirmed today as well. The challenge today is a misfit from each camp will be battling against each other. You will receive no weapons and must kill the other by brutally beating them with only your body. Whoever wins will be confirmed as a misfit and no longer have to be a part of challenges. You will be moved to a different compartment of the camp where you will have your own house and live peacefully. You will still use the life skills we have taught you and when the time comes we will conquer anything this world throws at us. Let the challenge begin, “he throws his hands in the air.

I make my way towards the ring but a guard stops me. He ties a blind fold around my eyes and begins to lead me up onto the ring. If I have to fight someone blind it will be merely impossible. The guard taps my shoulder and whispers into my ear that I can take the blind fold off when he says. I stand

there for ten minutes before he gives me the go ahead. I remove my blind fold ready to kill. My eyes meet my component. This isn’t happening. “Huh, Ezvan…”