Managing It All


Hey everyone, Its me again. This week I noticed that some of you are having a hard time managing our lives. We’re trying to balance our busy lives and our emotions. It’s like our stress, our fear, our pain is just holding us back. It’s like we’re just alive but we’re not living in the healthiest way possible. I say that this week we let go of the pain, let go of the fear and we let go of the stress. This week let’s just let go and have fun.

“What advice would you give me if I have honors classes, a part-time job, sports, and activities and I am experiencing stress and pressure to get it all done? I also feel like I’m not doing a good enough job at any of these things. Help!”

I’m sorry to say this but stress is always going to be a part of your life, after all, you’re in high school. It can be hard to be a teenager, and it seems like you know this better than anyone. It’s best that you learn how to manage it. I understand that you must have some schedule worked out to balance it all out, the studying, the job, the training, all of it. It may seem like you’re not doing a good enough job, but that just comes with the territory.  

You may be a teen who has the responsibilities of a grad student, and while that is admirable, being a teen is a role you’re not going to have forever. Take a minute to step back and relax. Give yourself some time for you in that busy schedule of yours. Go out with friends, see a movie, go to dinner, live a little. If that doesn’t relieve the stress, if you still feel on edge, then try hitting something, notice I said something, not someone. When I get stressed I head to my garage a hit my punching bag. But then again that’s just me. If hitting things isn’t exactly your cup of tea then try other coping skills such as journaling, music, exercise, reading, etc. Find what works for you.

Bottom line: Make some time for you, and you’ll make it through.  If you are still having trouble, seek help from a parent, friend or qualified counselor. 

“How can I trust the people around me? Where I used to go to school I couldn’t trust anybody or anything they said to me. How can I keep my anger under control?”

I know that it may be hard to trust people, and though I don’t know how long you have been here at Tyrone High,  I know that when you are at a new school things can seem scary. They seem as though you will go through the same routine as you did at your last, the lack of trust, the lashing out, the uncontrollable anger. I didn’t know your situation at your last school, but I do know that the problems that you had with the kids from your past should stay there.

This is a new place, a new group of people to meet and spend time with. Think of your time here as a fresh start, for you and those you meet. Be more trusting for a change and see how it works out. Observe how they act, how they walk, how they talk. See if their current friends can rely on them. Remember to choose who you trust wisely if they seem like your kind of people then after a while you’ll get a sense of who you can trust, of who you can rely on. Then you will know what it’s like to finally feel trust.

As far as your anger, whatever negative thoughts you have when you feel as though you have to “lash out” try to turn positive. Try to find something good in the bad. If that doesn’t work then take a minute to calm yourself down, walk away, count to ten, think about puppies. Just try and concentrate on you for a second. Think about what would happen if you were to lash out. Would the consequences of your actions be worth it? Is it really something worth stressing over? Most of the time the answer is no.

Bottom line: Give people a chance, let them earn your trust and remember that anger is an easy way out, however, it’s not the best way. It takes a stronger person to walk away from an annoying situation than to feed it.

“How do I know if any good at anything? Why do I feel so unsure about my future? How do you know if you’re any good for anything at all?  Why do I feel like a fake?”

I don’t know you, I don’t know your situation or your life. What I do know is that everyone has something that they are good at, and that includes you too. I think that you feel so unsure about your future because don’t know what your “thing” is. I’m not saying that finding your talent is going to magically write you a roadmap to your future like it’s a GPS or anything, but it will put you on the path that you’re searching for. As far as feeling like a fake, try just being you, no masks, no fake smiles, no hidden feelings, just you. Express who you are and you’ll feel more like you rather than the “fake” you claim to be.

As far as how I know that I’m good for anything, I just look around and see how what I’m doing matters, and it’s not just the column. I look around and I see the people and events that I affect in a positive way and I know that I’m here for a reason. So are you.

Bottom line: Find your thing, but be you first, and I mean you. Be the person that you feel like you’re hiding and see what happens.

Thanks for writing in everyone and please be sure write back and let me and the other readers know how it goes.