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Friends Don’t Let Friends Line Dance

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With prom so fresh in our memories and homecoming soon approaching, it’s time to address a serious problem: line dances.

Yes, line dances.

During one of these beloved songs dancers will line up in a row without partners and follow a choreographed pattern of steps to music. The most popular songs in this genre include Cotton-Eye Joe, Cha Cha Slide, and Apache (Jump On It).

I’ve been dancing my heart out and having a great time at events like snowball or prom, and then the cha cha slide pops on and it sucks the life out of me”

— Chloe Makdad

Since the dawn of music, organized and synchronized dancing have been all the rage. Think back to the 60s with the Twist, the 70s with the Hustle, the 80s with the Chicken Dance, and finally the 90s brought us the Electric Slide.

These catchy songs have a positive reputation and are used by DJs all over the country to keep people on the dance floor.

However, I get a much worse (and much more cult-like) vibe from the craze.

Haven’t you ever thought that it was a little strange that when the imbedded voice of Rednex comes from the DJ’s sound system that everyone in the room knows to automatically get in sectioned lines, turn around and jump very specifically, because I have.

This may sound a little harsh but line dances are in fact a modern day form of brainwashing the general public.

Even worse than the songs that expect you to at least learn the moves is the Cha-Cha Slide, where each line of the song is simply feeding the audience it’s moves.

For example when DJ Casper will yell out, “Everybody clap your hands!” And they do.

These meaningless and mind-numbing moves completely invalidate and discourage any sense of originality.

If you don’t believe me, then take it from a valedictorian.

“I’ve been dancing my heart out and having a great time at events like snowball or prom, and then the Cha Cha Slide pops on and it sucks the life out of me,“ said Chloe Makdad, TAHS graduate and valedictorian of the class of 2018.  

Then when someone decides to not participate in the dance they are flocked with those who haven’t noticed the dangers wondering why they chose not to, and what may seem like simple light-hearted question often end with the result of those who do not conform turning into a social pariah.

Line dances are not only annoying but down right evil in nature. The next time you hear one I implore you to take a stand… Do not not drink the Kool-Aid kids and whatever you do do NOT slide to the left.

 

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About the Writer
Meghan McMullen, News Editor

Oh, hi there! My name is Meghan McMullen, I'm a senior here at Tyrone and this is my second year in Eagle Eye News. At school, I'm involved with a lot...

12 Comments

12 Responses to “Friends Don’t Let Friends Line Dance”

  1. Caleb Orr on September 12th, 2018 9:32 am

    If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
    I’d been married a long time ago
    Where did you come from, where did you go?
    Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
    He came to town like a midwinter storm
    He rode through the fields, so handsome and strong
    His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun
    But all he had come for was having some fun
    If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
    I’d been married a long time ago
    Where did you come from, where did you go?
    Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
    If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
    I’d been married a long time ago
    Where did you come from, where did you go?
    Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
    He brought disaster wherever he went
    The hearts of the girls was to Hell, broken, sent
    They all ran away so nobody would know
    And left only men ’cause of Cotton-Eye Joe
    If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
    I’d been married a long time ago
    Where did you come from, where did you go?
    Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

  2. Benedict L. DelBaggio IV on September 12th, 2018 9:33 am

    I have never seen such emotional pushback against such dances, but I believe people should continue doing these dances due to how these dances allow a sense of rhythm and provide an excellent starting point for people to get out of their comfort zone and begin dancing. I must also note how most people, such as myself, agree with the notion that such type of dances are enjoyable and fun. Although it is true that some people dislike such dances due to the lack of creativity allowed compared to other songs. Overall, people who dislike such songs should either wait for the next song or “Slide” into the dance and join in the fun.

  3. Brodie Myers on September 12th, 2018 10:05 am

    Considering we’re learning this at 5th grade, these songs are going to be stuck in our head.

  4. Lexi on September 12th, 2018 12:18 pm

    Although I agree with your statement that line dances have meaningless dance moves, line dances are fun and can involve everyone. It’s not always about the dance moves, but more about how much fun you have making those “mind numbing” moves with your friends. Also, please explain to me how line dancing is “a form of brainwashing”. (:

  5. whens homecoming on September 12th, 2018 12:29 pm

    whens homecoming

  6. adviser on September 12th, 2018 3:38 pm

    The game is October 12 and there will be a Homecoming Dance on Oct. 13

  7. Chloe Makdad on September 12th, 2018 4:57 pm

    I’m so proud and honored to be featured in this remarkable prose. Thank you, Meghan, for saying what needed to be said 🙂

  8. Meghan on September 13th, 2018 8:18 am

    Thank you Chlo! I’m so happy I finally stopped procrastinating and made our little inside joke (and obscure hatred) into reality. It needed to be done. <3

  9. Nick DelBaggio on September 13th, 2018 9:15 am

    This time we’re gonna get funky
    Everybody clap your hands
    Clap clap clap clap your hands
    Clap clap clap clap your hands

    Alright we gonna do the basic steps
    Slide to the left
    Slide to the right
    Take it back now y’all
    One hop this time
    Right foot let’s stomp
    Left foot let’s stomp
    Cha cha real smooth

    Now turn it out

    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    One hop this time
    Right foot let’s stomp
    Left foot let’s stomp
    Cha cha now y’all

    Now it’s time to get funky

    To the right
    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    One hop this time, one hop this time
    Right foot two stomps
    Left foot two stomps
    Slide to the left
    Slide to the right
    Criss cross, criss cross
    Cha cha real smooth

    Lets go to work

    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    Two hops this time, two hops this time
    Right foot two stomps
    Left foot two stomps
    Hands on your knees, hands on your knees
    How low can you go
    All the way to the floor
    Like you never never stoped
    Can you bring it to the top
    Like you never never stoped

    Get funky with it

    Ooooooooh yeah (come on)
    Cha cha now y’all

    Turn it out
    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    Five hops this time
    Right foot lets stomp
    Left foot lets stomp
    Right foot again
    Left foot again
    Right foot lets stomp
    Left foot lets stomp
    FREEEZE

    Everybody clap your hands
    (Come on y’all) (Check it out y’all)
    How low can you go?
    Can you go down low?
    All the way to the floor
    How low can you go?
    Can you bring it to the top?
    Like you never never stop?
    Can you bring it to the top, one hop

    Right foot now
    Left foot now y’all
    Cha cha real smooth

    Turn it out
    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    One hop this time
    One hop this time
    Reverse (reverse)
    Slide to the left
    Slide to the right
    Reverse, reverse
    Reverse, reverse

    Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again
    Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again

    Turn it out
    To the left
    Take it back now y’all
    Two hops two hops
    Two hops two hops
    Right foot let’s stomp
    Left foot let’s stomp
    Charlie brown
    Turn it out now

    Slide to the right
    Slide to the left
    Take it back now y’all
    Cha cha now y’all

    Oooh yeah mmm, yeah do that stuff oooh yeah I’m out y’all peace!

  10. Jeremy Byers on September 14th, 2018 11:01 am

    New Cupid!
    (Time for a change)
    Cupid shuffle, cupid shuffle
    Cupid shuffle, cupid shuffle
    (New style)

    [Hook]
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do the cupid dance)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on) (don’t stop)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new dance)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey!)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new dance)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (oh, oh, oh)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah, yeah!)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (now let me see ya do that dance)
    New style, yeah

    [Verse 1]
    They say I’m a rapper, and I say no
    They say “what you doing?” Try’n to do somebody cold! (hey)
    I just let the music come from my soul
    So all of my people can stay on the floor (ooh ooh)
    They got a brand new dance (come on), you gotta move your muscle
    Brand new dance, it’s called the Cupid Shuffle
    It don’t matter if you’re young or you’re old (here we go)
    We gone show you how it go (hey hey)

    [Refrain]
    To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
    To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
    Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
    Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
    (Let me see you do)

    [Hook]
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (a let me see ya do the cupid)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (woah woah woah woah woah woah woah yeah yeah)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (let me see, let me see ya do the cupid)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do the shuffle baby yeah)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (woah woah oh oh)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey hey hey hey yeah yeah)

    [Refrain]
    To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
    To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
    Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
    Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
    (Let me see you do)
    To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
    To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
    Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
    Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself

    [Interlude]
    Now you see what I’m talkin’ about!
    I represent for the dirty south
    Where we known for swinging out
    I’m gone show you what I’m talkin’ about

    [Hook]
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (a let me see ya do the cupid shuffle, the cupid, cupid shuffle)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (the cupid shuffle, the cupid, cupid shuffle)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (ooh, ooh, oh)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (ooh, ooh, oh oh oh yeah)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah, yeah, yeah yeah)
    (here we go) (here we go)

    [Refrain]
    To the right, the right, the right, the right, the right
    The left, the left, the left, the left, the left
    Now kick, now kick, now come on baby kick
    Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
    (Now walk wit’ it!)
    To the right, the right, the right, the right, the right
    The left, the left, the left, the left, the left
    Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
    Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
    (Here we go, hey!)

    [Interlude]
    And do the cupid shuffle (oh oh oh oh oh)
    Cupid Shuffle (ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
    It’s ya boy Cupid C U P the I the D
    Mr. Fat on the track, got another hittin beat
    (here we go hey)

    [Hook]
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on, come on)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (let me see you)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do your dance!)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey, hey)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new dance)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new sound)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new feel)
    Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new style y’all)

    [Outro]
    You better watch how close we comin’ (uh, uh)
    So get ready for the brand new style
    You better watch how close we comin’
    You got another other Mr. Fat (uh, uh yep)

  11. Hilari Parsons on September 15th, 2018 10:43 am

    Meghan, one of my dearest friends, I completely agree. As a dancer of 16 years, I find it insulting that the art form has taken such a mindless form to be doing the same steps over and over to a song that allows for no freedom of expression. Cotton Eye Joe makes me cringe and the Cha Cha Slide gives me no desire to clap my hands, or to take it back now y’all. If anything I think the person who created the Cha Cha Slide should take it back now and never play it again.

  12. Meghan McMullen on September 17th, 2018 8:22 am

    Hilari, one of my dearest friends. Thank you so much for your incredible support. In all honesty, line dancing makes a complete mockery of the entire art form. I can only hope others will see the negative effects line dancing has both on the mind and soul.

We have been getting a lot more comments recently (which is good!). Unfortunately, some of them have been kind of nasty (which is bad!). Not surprisingly, most of the nasty comments have been submitted anonymously. Therefore, if you would like us to even consider publishing your comment you must use your REAL NAME and a VALID email address. If you are a TASD student please use your school email address. Thank you and please comment responsibly!

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




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Friends Don’t Let Friends Line Dance