Friends Don’t Let Friends Line Dance
With prom so fresh in our memories and homecoming soon approaching, it’s time to address a serious problem: line dances.
Yes, line dances.
During one of these beloved songs dancers will line up in a row without partners and follow a choreographed pattern of steps to music. The most popular songs in this genre include Cotton-Eye Joe, Cha Cha Slide, and Apache (Jump On It).
I’ve been dancing my heart out and having a great time at events like snowball or prom, and then the cha cha slide pops on and it sucks the life out of me
— Chloe Makdad
Since the dawn of music, organized and synchronized dancing have been all the rage. Think back to the 60s with the Twist, the 70s with the Hustle, the 80s with the Chicken Dance, and finally the 90s brought us the Electric Slide.
These catchy songs have a positive reputation and are used by DJs all over the country to keep people on the dance floor.
However, I get a much worse (and much more cult-like) vibe from the craze.
Haven’t you ever thought that it was a little strange that when the imbedded voice of Rednex comes from the DJ’s sound system that everyone in the room knows to automatically get in sectioned lines, turn around and jump very specifically, because I have.
This may sound a little harsh but line dances are in fact a modern day form of brainwashing the general public.
Even worse than the songs that expect you to at least learn the moves is the Cha-Cha Slide, where each line of the song is simply feeding the audience it’s moves.
For example when DJ Casper will yell out, “Everybody clap your hands!” And they do.
These meaningless and mind-numbing moves completely invalidate and discourage any sense of originality.
If you don’t believe me, then take it from a valedictorian.
“I’ve been dancing my heart out and having a great time at events like snowball or prom, and then the Cha Cha Slide pops on and it sucks the life out of me,“ said Chloe Makdad, TAHS graduate and valedictorian of the class of 2018.
Then when someone decides to not participate in the dance they are flocked with those who haven’t noticed the dangers wondering why they chose not to, and what may seem like simple light-hearted question often end with the result of those who do not conform turning into a social pariah.
Line dances are not only annoying but down right evil in nature. The next time you hear one I implore you to take a stand… Do not not drink the Kool-Aid kids and whatever you do do NOT slide to the left.
Oh, hi there! My name is Meghan McMullen, I'm a senior here at Tyrone and this is my second year in Eagle Eye News. At school, I'm involved with a lot...
Jimbo • Jun 15, 2021 at 11:22 am
Dance etiquette always is observed on a country floor. As a rule, two-steppers, who must keep moving, dance counter-clockwise in a circle around the borders on the floor. The floor’s center is reserved for line dancing (Which is a Spot or Rhythm Dance) just like Free Style, Cha-Cha, east & west coast swing.
*** Most Line Dance instructors haven’t a clue relative to “Floor Craft” thus their students ever are interfering with Spot/ Rhythm & Smooth/Progressive dancers attempting to use the floor at the same time. It’s all about them dancing alone,…to hell with those dancing as couples.
I think line dances are either a dance floor buster or killer. Not everyone knows the dances and not everyone likes them so it can go either way.
Ellouise H. Martin • Dec 27, 2023 at 3:05 pm
All line dance places were invented for line dancing. They have their own times and places that they have sought out to dance. They advertise it as a line dance, and it comes with instruction. Usually, lessons are reserved for lesson times, separate from a scheduled dance. Line dancers almost always pay for the lessons, and dances, because we prefer dancing instead of wiggling our butts like some kind of gyrating monkey. If you want to free style, nobody is stopping you. Just don’t go to a line dance place, and expect to take over the floor with your free styling. It won’t be tolerated. If the venue has other areas other than the line dance floor, where you can occupy that space without invading the line dance floor, feel free to free style in those areas. Otherwise, don’t go to a line dance.
Hilari Parsons • Sep 15, 2018 at 10:43 am
Meghan, one of my dearest friends, I completely agree. As a dancer of 16 years, I find it insulting that the art form has taken such a mindless form to be doing the same steps over and over to a song that allows for no freedom of expression. Cotton Eye Joe makes me cringe and the Cha Cha Slide gives me no desire to clap my hands, or to take it back now y’all. If anything I think the person who created the Cha Cha Slide should take it back now and never play it again.
Meghan McMullen • Sep 17, 2018 at 8:22 am
Hilari, one of my dearest friends. Thank you so much for your incredible support. In all honesty, line dancing makes a complete mockery of the entire art form. I can only hope others will see the negative effects line dancing has both on the mind and soul.
Jeremy Byers • Sep 14, 2018 at 11:01 am
New Cupid!
(Time for a change)
Cupid shuffle, cupid shuffle
Cupid shuffle, cupid shuffle
(New style)
[Hook]
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do the cupid dance)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on) (don’t stop)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new dance)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey!)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new dance)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (oh, oh, oh)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah, yeah!)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (now let me see ya do that dance)
New style, yeah
[Verse 1]
They say I’m a rapper, and I say no
They say “what you doing?” Try’n to do somebody cold! (hey)
I just let the music come from my soul
So all of my people can stay on the floor (ooh ooh)
They got a brand new dance (come on), you gotta move your muscle
Brand new dance, it’s called the Cupid Shuffle
It don’t matter if you’re young or you’re old (here we go)
We gone show you how it go (hey hey)
[Refrain]
To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
(Let me see you do)
[Hook]
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (a let me see ya do the cupid)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (woah woah woah woah woah woah woah yeah yeah)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (let me see, let me see ya do the cupid)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do the shuffle baby yeah)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (woah woah oh oh)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey hey hey hey yeah yeah)
[Refrain]
To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
(Let me see you do)
To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right
To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
[Interlude]
Now you see what I’m talkin’ about!
I represent for the dirty south
Where we known for swinging out
I’m gone show you what I’m talkin’ about
[Hook]
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (a let me see ya do the cupid shuffle, the cupid, cupid shuffle)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (the cupid shuffle, the cupid, cupid shuffle)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (ooh, ooh, oh)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (ooh, ooh, oh oh oh yeah)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (yeah, yeah, yeah yeah)
(here we go) (here we go)
[Refrain]
To the right, the right, the right, the right, the right
The left, the left, the left, the left, the left
Now kick, now kick, now come on baby kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
(Now walk wit’ it!)
To the right, the right, the right, the right, the right
The left, the left, the left, the left, the left
Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick
Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself
(Here we go, hey!)
[Interlude]
And do the cupid shuffle (oh oh oh oh oh)
Cupid Shuffle (ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)
It’s ya boy Cupid C U P the I the D
Mr. Fat on the track, got another hittin beat
(here we go hey)
[Hook]
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (come on, come on)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (let me see you)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (do your dance!)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (hey, hey, hey)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new dance)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got brand new sound)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new feel)
Down, down, do your dance, do your dance (we got a brand new style y’all)
[Outro]
You better watch how close we comin’ (uh, uh)
So get ready for the brand new style
You better watch how close we comin’
You got another other Mr. Fat (uh, uh yep)
Nick DelBaggio • Sep 13, 2018 at 9:15 am
This time we’re gonna get funky
Everybody clap your hands
Clap clap clap clap your hands
Clap clap clap clap your hands
Alright we gonna do the basic steps
Slide to the left
Slide to the right
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
Right foot let’s stomp
Left foot let’s stomp
Cha cha real smooth
Now turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
Right foot let’s stomp
Left foot let’s stomp
Cha cha now y’all
Now it’s time to get funky
To the right
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time, one hop this time
Right foot two stomps
Left foot two stomps
Slide to the left
Slide to the right
Criss cross, criss cross
Cha cha real smooth
Lets go to work
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Two hops this time, two hops this time
Right foot two stomps
Left foot two stomps
Hands on your knees, hands on your knees
How low can you go
All the way to the floor
Like you never never stoped
Can you bring it to the top
Like you never never stoped
Get funky with it
Ooooooooh yeah (come on)
Cha cha now y’all
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Five hops this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Right foot again
Left foot again
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
FREEEZE
Everybody clap your hands
(Come on y’all) (Check it out y’all)
How low can you go?
Can you go down low?
All the way to the floor
How low can you go?
Can you bring it to the top?
Like you never never stop?
Can you bring it to the top, one hop
Right foot now
Left foot now y’all
Cha cha real smooth
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
One hop this time
Reverse (reverse)
Slide to the left
Slide to the right
Reverse, reverse
Reverse, reverse
Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again
Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Two hops two hops
Two hops two hops
Right foot let’s stomp
Left foot let’s stomp
Charlie brown
Turn it out now
Slide to the right
Slide to the left
Take it back now y’all
Cha cha now y’all
Oooh yeah mmm, yeah do that stuff oooh yeah I’m out y’all peace!
Chloe Makdad • Sep 12, 2018 at 4:57 pm
I’m so proud and honored to be featured in this remarkable prose. Thank you, Meghan, for saying what needed to be said 🙂
Meghan • Sep 13, 2018 at 8:18 am
Thank you Chlo! I’m so happy I finally stopped procrastinating and made our little inside joke (and obscure hatred) into reality. It needed to be done. <3
whens homecoming • Sep 12, 2018 at 12:29 pm
whens homecoming
adviser • Sep 12, 2018 at 3:38 pm
The game is October 12 and there will be a Homecoming Dance on Oct. 13
Lexi • Sep 12, 2018 at 12:18 pm
Although I agree with your statement that line dances have meaningless dance moves, line dances are fun and can involve everyone. It’s not always about the dance moves, but more about how much fun you have making those “mind numbing” moves with your friends. Also, please explain to me how line dancing is “a form of brainwashing”. (:
Brodie Myers • Sep 12, 2018 at 10:05 am
Considering we’re learning this at 5th grade, these songs are going to be stuck in our head.
Benedict L. DelBaggio IV • Sep 12, 2018 at 9:33 am
I have never seen such emotional pushback against such dances, but I believe people should continue doing these dances due to how these dances allow a sense of rhythm and provide an excellent starting point for people to get out of their comfort zone and begin dancing. I must also note how most people, such as myself, agree with the notion that such type of dances are enjoyable and fun. Although it is true that some people dislike such dances due to the lack of creativity allowed compared to other songs. Overall, people who dislike such songs should either wait for the next song or “Slide” into the dance and join in the fun.
Caleb Orr • Sep 12, 2018 at 9:32 am
If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I’d been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
He came to town like a midwinter storm
He rode through the fields, so handsome and strong
His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun
But all he had come for was having some fun
If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I’d been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I’d been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
He brought disaster wherever he went
The hearts of the girls was to Hell, broken, sent
They all ran away so nobody would know
And left only men ’cause of Cotton-Eye Joe
If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I’d been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?