I don’t know about you, but I never thought brightly colored plastic and soap would become one of the most effective methods of natural selection ever to bless the planet.

Yes, folks, I am talking about Tide Pods and the “Tide Pod Challenge.”

Honestly, I’m in full support of this endeavor. No, I do not participate, nor would I consider myself dumb enough to consider such a feat; however, I see no reason why we should discourage the ignorant youth poisoning themselves.

Trust me when I say I know plenty of extremely thick-skulled twit’s who would participate.

No, I am not a harbinger of death, nor supportive of the poisoning children. Although, I feel we are discouraging a very effective method of ridding absolute stupidity from our country and our planet.

Why are we attempting to discontinue and discourage this practice? If anything, this should be strongly encouraged! I am not imposing the kind of natural selection Charles Darwin brought unto this world; I am speaking of a whole new (and improved) kind of natural selection.

Also, why exactly are these obtuse individuals eating Tide Pods in the first place?

Considering the fact the amount of intentional poisonings due to Tide Pods from 2017 has nearly doubled in the first month of 2018, we can conclude our youth is just flat out brain dead.

If you think the mere fact Tide Pods can actually kill you would make these kids stop, I’m afraid your initial thoughts need a bit of cleaning.

Sure they may smell fresh and clean but they are soiled by stupidity.

In one instance, The  Huffington Post stated some of these “forbidden fruits“ were set in front of a man and he was “struggling not to eat a bowl full of them.“  Next president?

Believe me, I understand. Today, peer pressure is at an absolute high; however, I cannot be one to blame these kids for feeling like they are somehow “behind the pack” when it comes to popularity.

People want to fit in, but the fact they’ve resorted to poisoning themselves is just simply absurd. I’ve wanted to be well-known in my school and by my peers, but I’m not nearly as stupid as these kids who resort to knocking on death’s door to see if he’ll answer.

Sorry folks, no normal human being deserves to be a part of our society if they want to chomp down and kill themselves with laundry detergent.

So, I say we just let them decide their fate. Will they decide to display a quarter of an intelligence and not consume liquids meant for cleaning your khakis, or will they decide to keep on choking on suds? I say, “Keep on snacking kids! You’re doing your part in cleaning up the planet.”