Humor: Product of the Year


The ultimate device usable by most people: a towel

What do people look for in a grand product?

Smart, focused people might say that a set of nerd-books (encyclopedias) would be mighty grand. Those in search of comfy living might say that a bed with sheets of a ridiculous thread count is the best product for them. Some of the young people would probably like a $500,000 phone that is slightly different than the model of the last year.

It’s not. For product of the year I nominate the bathing towel. 

You can probably even use it to kill a grizzly bear, but we don’t recommend trying to.”

Think of all the possibilities a towel has. It can clean messes, can be used as a carrying sack, used as a blanket, as a window curtain, as a hammock (if you trust it enough), as something to block out the blazing sun, or a downpour from the heavens. You can probably even use it to kill a grizzly bear, but we don’t recommend trying to.

To paraphrase one of the works of Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy; A towel is about the most useful thing a hitchhiker can have. It has great practical value.

The unlimited variety of designs is one of the traits that make the bathing towel a premium product. 

Well-to-do ladies and gentlemen with millions of dollars can buy towels studded with diamonds. But, of course,  that would be bragging and there is no good use for a diamond studded towels.

It is so stupid the number of designs that exist, so of course there is bound to be one of a milk jug. Who wouldn’t want a towel with a milk jug on it? 

The soft texture of the bathing towel is another grand quality of the bathing towel.

It’s very simple, would you want to use sandpaper to dry yourself off?  Or paper? Or a towel?

Obviously the toughest people in the world who eat nails for breakfast would choose the sandpaper, or the paper.  But the common people would choose the towel. They would choose it because they know the human body doesn’t like sandpaper, and normal paper is a lousy thing to dry off with.

Who wouldn’t want a towel with a milk jug on it?”

Also the soft touch of the bathing towel gives it a welcome feel, and a gentle one. It is just something about the soft feeling of things, it’s just nice.

The best part of all of this, is that the bathing towel is that it is very light. Think about you get a million different uses, and it weighs less than a cell phone owned by a teenager; nothing against teenager’s, they just have phones that are light.

Their beautiful designs, their soft feel, and the 5,682,342 uses make the towel the product of the year.  

Let’s face it; without the bathing towel we would all be wet.

No society can get moving forward if everyone needs to put a wet floor sign every five steps, not cost effective even.

In fact there is a chance none of history would have happened without towels because, according to Wikipedia, towels were invented in the 17th century by the Turkish, must mean towels are a Thanksgiving thing.

Next year: the umbrella.