Imagine facing the world as a sixteen-year-old teenager, with dreams and fears colliding, while also stepping into the role of a single parent.

That’s exactly what my mom did at age 16, and her journey has forever changed how I see motherhood.

According to CDC reports, teenage birth rates decreased by 78% from 1991 to 2021. Although the percentage of teen pregnancies has dropped significantly, teens still represent 14 births for every 1,000 in the US.

My mother, Samantha Barnes, a Tyrone Area High School alumni, was a teen mother. Not just once, but twice.

My mom was just 15 years old and a freshman at Tyrone Area High School in 2005 during her first pregnancy. Her boyfriend at the time, my biological father, was even younger. She was told by both him and his mother that he was 16. When my mom told them about the pregnancy, she found out he was only 14 at the time.

“When I was pregnant, I was in ninth grade. Others bullied me because I was so young and pregnant. It was so bad that one boy told me to go fall down the stairs because he didn’t like me to begin with,” Barnes said. “When he found out I was pregnant, I became his perfect target. It even got so bad to the point where he told me to kill myself and the baby.”

After she had her first child at the age of 16, she suffered from a serious case of postpartum depression, a persistent feeling of hopelessness and sadness that many new mothers experience..

Compared to women without perinatal depression, death rates for parents with postpartum depression are nearly six times higher.

Postpartum depression can also cause mothers to struggle with bonding and caring for their child, along with breastfeeding.

“Being so young and a first-time parent was very challenging. You now didn’t only have yourself to worry about, you have this baby that you have to make your priority and keep safe,” Barnes said

Barnes already had a rocky childhood, so the pregnancy added to the ongoing issues she was dealing with.

“It got so bad to the point where I had to be pulled out of school until I had my son,” Barnes said. “I lost almost all my friends because I wasn’t in school anymore, so I didn’t see or talk to them very much. Plus, we didn’t have cell phones like nowadays, just landlines that nobody wanted to sit at for long periods.”

As a result, she missed a big chunk of her high school years to the responsibilities of motherhood, which limited many of her post-high school plans. Although she knew the consequences, so do teens today, many of whom aren’t taking action to prevent pregnancy.

“After I had my son, I lost the few friends that still tried to keep in touch with me. I wasn’t able to just get up and hang out or party anymore. I had to grow up and be a parent at the age of 16,” Barnes said.

“I then found out I was pregnant again in 2008 and gave birth to a healthy baby girl,” Barnes said.

When I was born, she lost the last bit of childhood she had left. She had to take care of my brother and me, and she was already struggling to take care of herself.

“I had a very small support system. I was taught that if you can make the baby, then you have to raise it, but I had a little help when I needed it,” Barnes said. “When I was 18, I got my apartment in the Tyrone Townhomes.”

My biological father was too busy partying and was unwilling to stand up to the responsibilities of parenthood.

My mom’s depression got so severe at one point that she left home, leaving my brother and me with our grandma, without telling anyone.

She was gone for months, partying and staying hidden. My biological father was anything but a dad. He did not share in the cost of raising us, and on the rare occasions when he was left alone with us, he would put our safety and well-being in jeopardy.

Meanwhile, my mom was left to put her life back together by herself.

“I did go back to school after I had my son, but since I was a single mom, ninety percent of the time with no help from the father and his family, I ended up having to sign out of school so that I could care for my babies,” Barnes said.

The issues and challenges that my mom had to face head-on at such a young age are astonishing to me. She gave up her entire life to mother two kids when she still psychologically needed the love of a mother.

The bravery and strength it took to be able to do that is unimaginable.

Fortunately for my brother and me, my mom met someone willing to step up and fill the role of husband and father. My mom and dad, Bobby Barnes, were married on August 16th, 2016.

My mom is now a parent of four and works for a Support Service provider for a young lady with autism. She is thankful that she overcame the challenges of being a teen mom and can now provide a stable, loving environment for her children.

Her advice to young women today is to be smart.

“Don’t mess your life up; wait until you have graduated and have a good life to bring a beautiful baby into,” Barnes said. “I do not regret my son at all, but let me just say that it was one of the hardest and most challenging things I had to do, being so young. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a teen parent, but you have to be willing to face the consequences that will follow.”